A Conference Call Guide For The Jekylls And The Hydes

(NOTE:I found this guide very hilarious so i posted it here read along its quite funny)

By: Nahshon DeMore

You can't be an office worker and not know what a conference call is. After all, a conference call is as inevitable to office life as reports and promotions. In fact, the more geographically dispersed corporate teams are and the costlier the travels, the more important a conference call becomes. Conference calls fall under the bracket of social interaction. As such, there are rules of etiquette that have to be followed.

Tips for Mr. Hyde
If you want to lose credibility and send your career surely and quickly into a downward spiral, do the following during a conference call.

1. Make sure a doorbell rings incessantly in the background. For more impact, try to make your dog bark during the most important part of the discussion. This will ensure that you miss the most vital and yes, boring, information covered in the meeting.

2. Make a point of standing up and leaving your seat several times during the conference call. Get something from the fridge, a glass of water, for example. When you do this, put your call on hold. Everyone participating in the meeting will hear your hold music, so be sure to choose one that's really loud and confusing.

3. Indulge your secret obsession with the mute button. Press it every time you get the chance. The mute button is very useful because when utilized properly, it could keep participants of the meeting from responding to a crucial question put in by your boss.

4. Make faces. You can ape Jim Carey, your boss, or that annoying old lady from the Marketing Department. You could suddenly develop a tic in your left eye. Meetings are boring. Your antics will surely add spice to the lecture. If these do not prove enough, however, you could also try speaking in a falsetto. This will surely keep all the attention focused on you.

Reminders for Dr. Jekyll
If, on the other hand, you want to take the road commonly traveled, do the following while you participate in a conference call.

1. Keep in mind that you will be interacting with a group where you will not receive any visible prompts or feedback. Speak clearly and slowly.

2. Mobile phones, or any device that picks up background noise, are not ideal for conference calls.

3. Familiarize yourself with call-conferencing technology to avoid any blunders on an actual conference call. Use the mute button sparingly and remember to deactivate it when it's your turn to speak.

4. Check on your colleagues' time zones, especially if they are a continent away. Arrange the time of the meeting long before it will be held and gather all necessary information, such as contact data and access numbers. Be sure to distribute these to the rest of the participants.

5. Start the meeting on time. Take notes. Prepare reports. A conference call is, after all, a meeting. There is no excuse for being unprepared.

6. Introduce yourself whenever it is your turn to speak. It is wrong to assume that people will know you from the sound of your voice.

7. Address people by name when you ask for their opinions or input. This way, you minimize the need to repeat yourself.

8. Bear in mind that pencil tapping, chair scraping, or paper shuffling could be irritating. Avoid these.

Conference calls are important. They could make or break your career, depending, of course, on whether you choose to take the call as Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.