Cracker Species

Since its Diwali and many of you expect Sarcasm from my blogs, I writing out this for you. If you think you can add in, you are free to mail me at harry.cheese@gmail.com

There are several types of Crackers that are available in the market, and they can be classified in to several categories. I tried classifying them too.


I-make-Big-Noise-type As the name Suggests, these crackers are one of the most major reason why Aspirin manufacturers make a fortune in Diwali. The sound that these little things make are so loud that it can wake the dead and shake the ground. Certain Cars that are sensitive to sounds start sounding their alarms, even if these type of crackers go off a mile away from them. They are commonly called "Rassi Bombs". Other names include "Atom Bomb" (I really hope is not an Atom bomb, lol), "Laxmi Bomb", "Dokyala Tras Bomb" ( I made this one up, hehe) and much more, may be you guys can help me out here.

I-Small-but-I-am-dangerous These are commonly referred as "Lavangi". Though these are small and make a lot lesser noise when bursted, they are the single most dangerous cracker I have seen in my life. Kids, usually lit them, holding them in their hands and throw them away from them when its about to burst. I know it might not sound much dangerous, but the part where they throw it away from them is synonymous with they throw it away from themselves but towards you. I have been a victim to this more than once, and believe me, it hurts. To top it all, after getting hurt, you cant go and hit the kid, becoz he is just a little kid and it feels stupid to bash up a kid even if he hurt u.

I-Will-fly-and-burst-in-the-sky This species can be divided into two. One is commonly called "The Rocket". Come diwali and there is a line in front of the nearest liquor store. Not for liquor, ofcourse, but for the empty bottle, so that ppl can fire their rockets in them. Bursting these rockets is quite like a subject called Mechanics in our Engineering Curriculam. Before lighting the rocket, you have to determine the angle at which the rocket has to be kept so that it doesnt land up in someone's bedroom, and bursts off, there by disturbing them of whatever they were doing. Not only that, the direction in which it is angled and the length of the bottle is also important, which otherwise can lead to toppling the bottle. I remember one incident that happened with me, when a bottle collapsed just before the rocket left the base, and it became horizontal, due to which it chased us all, as it was a narrow lane ahead, and we couldnt get out of the rocket's way, we all ran our ass off to avoid hurting our private parts.

The second is called "Fancy Item". They are completly harmless unless ofcourse, you are having a bad day. These things are the size of those Ponds Talcum Powder dabbas. These release a small pellet like thing that goes up in the sky and make nice colorful patterns, its a pleasing sight.

If you can think of something else, do tell me ... i will add it here ... HAPPY DIWALI TO YOU ONCE AGAIN!!